Where to begin with the man Sheen? Since his wars with tabloid indecency sparked a public battle cry, the beleaguered star now goes around carrying a Violent Torpedo of Truth around with him, like some magnificent burden. And yet where will the torpedo land? In all its delicious absurdity the tantalizing saga of Sheen seems to perfect to be real. There’s really no way to describe Sheens “meltdown” using mere mortal words, so here are some quotes that reach a Salvador Dali level on the Confusing vs. Awesome scale:
On Whether he was on Drugs:“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”;
On Chuck Lorre: “I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”;
On AA: “[A.A.] was written for normal people, people that aren’t special. People that don’t have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA.”
The scariest thing about Charlie Sheen’s meltdown is that, in a world as crazy as ours, he almost makes sense.
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